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April 19 Reality...I first heard it from a very good but old friend. "The truth comes out when your drunk" people can say mean and hurtful things when they have alcohol in them...liquid courage to say the things you normally would not say when you were sober. But people can also go to the opposite end of the spectrum and speak the nice truth. They can say nice, good, sweet things that they maybe dont express enough when they are sober for either fear of how other people will react or thinking they may get hurt for some reason. The evil truth hurts but sometimes the nice truth is needed.
Tonite I was reminded how no matter how frequently people express their emotions it doesnt matter...they feel that way all the time. Sometimes theres a time to express these feelings. And other times you just dont. People have a side to them that is often hidden. Its who they truly are but its not who they portray themselves to be. And sometimes all you see is the side that you know and you forget that they have other parts to them that make them who they are, why they say and do the things that they do.
You reminded me of the simple things that are important. The reasons why we get out of bed each day, the reason for being. How people can simply change your life for the better. You reminded me that no matter what has happened in the past that it is now the present and we can choose how we are going to react and continue through each day. People can hurt you, people can desert you, people can make you dissappointed and sad and upset and angry. But people can also change your entire perspective life, change your way of thinking. They can surprise you and delight you and please you and make you thankful to have them in your life several times a day. Sometimes the most meaningful and important things cant be spoken. But you know they are there and that they exist.
You shouldnt blame the people currently in your life for the things others have done in the past. This is my biggest battle, a daily struggle. An issue that I dont know will ever completly go away so I can be totally completly faithful and trusting in the present. But with the people in my life that I am consistantly surrounded by it is becoming easier to fight this battle. And everyday with the words you speak and the things you dont even have to say all you have to do is think them and I know...its getting better and better.
And I saw too many things
So much pain
But now im seeing much clearer
Its getting better and better
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