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February 24 .....I probably shouldnt be writing this. I probably should be sleeping. And everyone thinks I'm sleeping.
I dont know why I'm writing this...I felt like I need to.
My eyes are burning, 14 hours of sleep over 3 days does stuff to ones mind. But its like I cant sleep no matter what I cant get myself to go to bed. And its not that I cant fall asleep its like I cant make myself even get to the bed. Why when I'm this tired do I not do the right thing and that is to sleep? Makes no sense! Its like I fear being alone or something or not awake. Like I'll miss something...I dont know what it is. I feel like my mind and thoughts are twisted and and knotted and tangled up and I'm trying to untangle them and make it all straight again but I cant. Its so much effort and just as I'm about to get the last few knots undone new ones show up again out of no where and I dont even know why they are there. Its just this never ending job. I discover and I think and I believe that I find answers and then suddenly I'm back to the beginning.
If you read this next part and dont understand what I am talking about then it obviously isnt meant towards you...
"Sometimes I just need you" "Everyones a let down it just depends on how far down they can go" "We sometimes cant put into words exactly how we are feeling, or how much feel for and love someone. Maybe it shouldnt be humanly possible to explain that kinda stuff" Its like when I'm around you everything is okay...its like nothing bad can happen. Like I'm in some sort of bubble. Nothing matters except the present when we're together. I dont know how its possible to do absolutly nothing but still would rather be there then anywhere else in the world at that moment. I know you know what I'm talking about. I believe we all keep each other grounded...I dont know...I cant explain anything more...its just not humanly possible to.
But for the people that will never get to experience the things we do on a daily basis well that makes me sad because I would hope everyone would experience something as cool and great and special and nice as what we get too. But I know everyone doesnt get too...and so that makes me more thankful for everything. And I'm sure tho one day it will end up also making me hurt more than the average soul.
So thats all I must nap now. To anyone who believes they understand what I am saying but doesnt know for sure and needs some clarification feel free to ask...I'll explain
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